1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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