You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Randomize
