you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize