This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
