It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
