I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Randomize
