It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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