Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
The uberlube is also flammable
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Randomize
