There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
