Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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