That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
