I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Randomize
