four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize