So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
