She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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