She went from zero to smokin in five shots
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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