BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
