What a fucking waste of an outfit
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
someone owes me an orgasm
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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