I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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