He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
i just sent this text using only my big toe
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Randomize
