so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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