So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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