I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
