I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
