Princesses don't give blow jobs
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
