Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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