im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
