There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
