these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Randomize
