There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
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