In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Randomize