I bet he comes in French.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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