So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize
