We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
