ya dads aren't the best wingmen
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Randomize
