I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
