Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize