hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
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