My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.