I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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