please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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