i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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