Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
