At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Randomize
