All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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