so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
