Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
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