im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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