i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
