Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
