i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Randomize
