Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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