i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
