I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
