I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
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