I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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