google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
