Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
