I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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