butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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