This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
