I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
