come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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