my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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